Worst intervention ever

So…don’t let these guys deal with any major disasters.  People were over 2 hours late for work due to highway shut-downs.  And the lady?  Still alive.

Now, I can’t speak for everyone, but having actually been suicidal (alive only by God’s grace) and having been a volunteer for two years in an online suicide counseling ring, most true suiciders want to keep everything neat, tidy, and quiet.  They won’t take more than an hour to die, max.  They won’t keep telling people “they’re going to do it” – they’ll actually do it.

This lady, though…

I’ve heard a safety net or a tranquilizer gun would probably have been a better choice than talk, and I can’t say I disagree.  China was much more efficient.

***Common Sense seeking less traffic***

That’s Entertainment!

Fame.  Fortune.  Glitz.  For some, these are the driving factours in life.  But really?  This? There’s just gotta be a better way.  People have (unfortunately) used their children to further their own aspirations for generations; there’s nothing new in that.  But holding your silence so long the MILITARY is called out?  Of course, the sheriffs may have been too…human.  I mean, who DOESN’T cause National Emergencies for the sake of fame?

Still lost?  Check out the (most) incriminating evidence here.  They keep denying it, but after the kid slips you can hear “Dad” say “Auugh – Boy”.  Busted.

***Common Sense seeking UNreality TV; it’s safer and more entertaining***

REAL English takes the 1st hit

Err...Okay?

I need a valid “serach term”…but I couldn’t find “serach” in the dictionary.  Could someone better at “British English” (often called REAL English) please define this for me?  I’m sure it’s just a colloquialism I’ve never heard…

After all, if my search term is insufficient after reading their search guidelines, it must be my fault.  The London Times would never make an obvious spelling error – they are, after all, one of the world’s major newspapers.  AND they write in REAL English.

***Common Sense Seeking Spell Check***

It WAS a Spiritual Journey…

(Again, bear in mind there are people grieving.  For some this was a tragedy.)

Well…Umm…See…What had happened was she wanted to get in touch with the spiritual side of life.  They all did!  Obviously the most effective way of achieving this was to become spirits – permanently!  So really, I don’t understand why there’s all this drama with police and lawsuits.  It’s a clear case of choice!  What?  You mean you don’t see it?  Let’s review…

1) All these people CHOSE to go to this “Spiritual Warrior Retreat”

2) All 60+ people CHOSE to cram into a “sweat-lodge” built and designed by, no, not an architect, no, not an experienced shaman, no, not a spa designer.  This sweat-lodge was built by a Self-Help Guru.  That’s just about the world’s strongest qualification, right? (This article includes his picture – see?  He’s obviously qualified to make sweat-lodges!)

3) All these people were seeking the spiritual.

4) If you believe in the spiritual, you believe something exists after death

5) The easiest way to get close to spirits is to be a spirit

6) The easiest way to be a spirit is to be dead

Case Closed!  Everybody volunteered to die!  Some didn’t succeed, but they all volunteered.  Why all the drama?  What?  You don’t agree?  With what?  Of course Self-Help Gurus are experts on everything and should be trusted implicitly!  Of course prolonged exposure to high temperatures presents no hazard of bodily harm; after all, a 40.56 C (105 F) temperature is nothing to worry about.  Why would anybody think that 60+ people crammed in an already extremely warm enclosed space would present any danger?  I mean really.

***Common Sense – The Next Great Trend***

REALLY important things

If this is the most interesting thing you can find to report about a man who is president of one of the world’s more powerful nations, a man who just won a NOBEL PEACE PRIZE, for pity’s sake, you need new hobbies and maybe a crash course in Journalism 98 (the remedial precursor to 101).  Though perhaps this is a testament to the fine job he is doing.  A left-handed compliment, as it were.  Yes, yes, that must be it.  Far be it from me to point out that nearly every president in USA history from the dawn of radio has had some sort of catch-phrase or commonly used wording.  People being people?  Having *gasp* diction?  It’s more scandalous than Nixon blatantly lying and JFK having an affair with an unnamed married blonde actress called Monroe!

And on a side note, the Danbury Mint Inaugural Ball doll was expected; they pretty much always pull that kinda thing.  But the Jailbreak Toys’ Action figure (designed to compete with those of the US President) may be a bit over the edge.  Though on the plus side (if you choose to call it that), “Jackie” may disappear in the shadow of the more contemporary “Michelle”.

***Common Sense – The newest in an exotic line***

Blue over Blueberries?

It’s official – the Governator has signed the bill establishing the CA Blueberry Commission.  Way to make a landmark decision?  While speculation is running not-so-rampant (see article) that this is a strategy to get a water bill passed, the relation is…shall we say…obscure.

Don’t get me wrong – I like blueberries as well as the next person.  But really.  A state that is naturally a desert environment in about 2/3 of the accepted state boundaries and they can’t decide how to get affordable water but they have time to waste debating on whether or not to start a Blueberry Commission?!?

Is this a random desperate bid to create more jobs?  Or just another bureaucratic distraction tactic to prevent notice of the important things (food, water, work) slipping through the cracks?  Well we’re distracted all right.  Inane doesn’t begin to cover it.

Perhaps the Blueberry Commission will miraculously provide enough jobs, food, and juice that no one will miss affordable (and enough) water.  Or maybe the Governator was bored and decided to sign whatever landed on his desk that day.

***Common Sense Seeking Employment (especially in politics).***

Electricity = Ow.

I simply could not believe there was an active need for this anywhere in the world, but here it is!

With sincerity in my heart, may I simply point out: If it hurts, DON’T DO IT!

Also, why does it take THREE YEARS to compile a 10 page report (check out the most recent one) on appliances that present danger of electrocution?  Especially when the specific appliance and brand aren’t mentioned?  Is this the political version of a thriller?

And, the icing, “Children should be kept away from fires, cooking stoves,
lamps, matches and electrical appliances“.  Really?  I always sit my baby on the stove and hand him matches to start a bonfire.  I pull the lamp very close so he can see and hand him the plug to the heater so he can be warm while working.  What’s wrong with that?

On a side note, wouldn’t you like to know what job(s) get EIGHT people killed by LIGHTNING in a single year?  Also, if almost 10 people a month are killed on the job by contact with overhead powerlines, shouldn’t that job market get some better insulation?  And why doesn’t the government reveal what the actual employment demographics are on these stats? (See the BLS’ CFOI 2008)

I guess the points would be:

1. Electricity can kill

2. If electricity can kill, protect those who work with or near it

3. If electricity can kill, do NOT play with it

4. If electricity can kill, check your product design BEFORE making a million

5. If electricity can kill, it likely can also injure and maim

6. Being injured and/or maimed hurts

7. Knives can also injure, maim, or kill

8. Water can also injure, maim, or kill

9. Fire can also injure, maim, or kill

10. NOBODY asks why Knives, Water, or Fire hurt.

***Common Sense for hire.***

Lions and Tigers and Bears! Oh My!

In case you missed it, read the story here, here, or here.

Let’s just take a moment here, please, to realise there is a man out there who is recently widowed and enduring state hearings and police accusations without a moment to spare to mourn his wife.

[SILENCE]

Now could someone please be so kind as to explain to me why raising a LION, a TIGER, and a BEAR was a good idea?  Even Dorothy had the good sense to be scared of predatory animals, and she saw flying monkeys, for pity’s sake!

“Black bears stand around three feet tall at the shoulder.”  This means when down on all fours.  Three feet tall on all fours.  Male or Female.  Males can get to be up to six feet long and 650 pounds in a good life! (Smithsonian: National Zoo)

How domestic is a nine-foot tall (on hind legs) clawed and fanged animal ever really going to be?

The couple also kept an African Lion and a Bengal Tiger.

Some quick facts, if I may.

According to Kids National Geographic, a male lion’s roar can be heard for about five miles (angry neighbors!).  Male lions range from about 350-550 pounds and can run up to 36 miles/hour.

According to (grown-up) National Geographic, a tiger’s roar can be heard for two miles (still angry neighbors) and the animals range between 240-500 pounds in weight.

The picture chart shown for both animals leads to estimates of two-three feet high at the shoulder (on all fours) for both cats.

Where in this do we decide what cute and cuddly pets these will be?  Not to mention Pennsylvania is NOT the most favourable habitat for the lion or tiger…

On note number two, WHY didn’t she enclose the bear separately?  The WORLD-FAMOUS San Diego Zoo does it!  Almost EVERY zoo in the WORLD does it!  If it’s good enough for the most highly trained and skilled zoo-keepers in the world, it’s good enough for me!

***My name is Common Sense.  My shingle is hung.  Call any time.***